The Adveneture of Satanina in the Harry Potter Skool
by goffikgirlsrok
Summary: Satnina is a cool Slytherin goff who gets a letter to go to the Harry potter school. There she makes lots of new friends and defeats teh bark lord Vampire. Get it? cuz I'm goffik. It's a really grate story, gusy!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I love the Harrie Potter movies! I wanted to write a fnfiction where all the charactas were cool and goffik and not preps like the movies. Dis isi what Harry Potta Eplisode 6 would have been like if JK Rowland was a cool autor. I is really fsory if dis does not match the books. I've only seen some of the movies, okay?

Hi My name is Satanina and I am a goff. I gets a letter from the Harry Potter school written in BLODD and it said I was supere cool and can go to da Harry Pooter school. My BFF Hermiones Gangrene also gets a letter from da Harry Ootter scho I went to da train station and we wnet to the train adn took it to the harry potter school called hogwards. On the train,I met a really cool Person named Hermiones Gangrene. She weass goth with really long black hair that went to her waist. We were freinds simulaneosly because we were both goff. She really liked my chemical romanse and she saids tht she would marry Jerard way but I told her I would marry Jerard Way so she said it was ok and that I would marry him and she would be the best woman at our wedding.

IDK if I'm a mugge born or a pureblood or a halfblood because I am a orphan and mine life was with my stupid preppy stepparents . When I gots the letter they said to not open it becasue I can't be a witch I haf to be a doctor or a lwayer or both. But they don not a know if I am a vamire so I cant be a doctor except if i were in THE SUPID VAMPIRE MOVIE WITH STUPID PREP VAMPIRES CALLED TWIGHTLIGHT so i will make myself a VAMPIRE WITH!

When I gets to thd HAry potta school they divide us into 4 groups: NErdy Preps, stupid preps, lame preps (griffendorks(get it? cause im goffic! )), and super cool goffs dats slytheringe. I am really skinny but I get mad when peoples ask me if how I keep myself so skinny cause im not anorexic even though i look at it . I have waist lenght black hair with naturallly purple tips and i wear a black leather half shirt and pure black camoflaged pants so I can be sneaky and blend ins with the nightime because im a VAMPIRE. I also wear a sheath for my ritual dagger because I am STANIST and I haf to do rituals with BLODD with the knife. When I wfas a really young kid in da middle of the night i wokes up and there was a burngin red light coming from my hand in the shape of a pentagram and SATAN told me out of it that i was his faveorite creation.

When da other people gets sorted into da prep houses der are 2 weeally cute guys named Legolass and furrick and Darco malfoys in slytheringe. They are really funny and smart- but not nerdy preps llike the greffendooks. When they leave, hermione tells me "Woe does are really hot guys satinine" "Yeah dey are almost as hot as me lol ;-)" "Yeah but ure still da hottest and hotter than me satinina" "Yeah, but I don't kare about outer beuty."

"Your really caring and compassionatne Stanina," sadi Hermione.

"That is because I have a deep understanding of the problems that being too beautiful can cause - everybody thinks that you're shallow just because even though I'm really pretty and I don't dress like a dumb prep because I hate all of them and I want to shop at Hot Topic instead of Aeropostale because I don't like the color pink and it's not cool to make fun of people for things like that because I am a strong woman that has the right to make my own choices about what I wear and who I hang out with and everybody who isn't dumb should respect my choices and some people don't understand why someone so filled with depressing sorrow like me would want to not wear pink just because they think its cool." Wow, sataniina, hermione, you're really deep

"you think so?" I blush happily, but not relly cus I'm derpressed.

"Totes!"

Da cute boy names Finnik comes over to me and smiles. I can see all of his muscles thorugh his ripped MCR tshirt and hsi wearing black eyeliner ut not the sparkly kind cuz thats dfumb. "Do you want to go to the Good Charlotte concert with me in Hogsmaid?" he asks.

"OMS (oh my stain, cuz I'm a Stanist) yes!" I say. He smiles really big and goes off to sit teh with other boys. Hermilne turns to me."Dat's so excting!"

"Ya, i know"

"What are you going to wear?" she says exccitedly.

"I don't know. I hink i shoudl lgo shopping." Do you know any cool storesin the town nextt o hogwares?" (Sory, I don't remember teh name from the movie)

YES! said Hermione happily. "My fav rite stor is in Hogmeade!"

"HOT TOPIC?!" we both sout sexily. Dt is why we are best friends.

A/N: Dat ist he first chapter! Was it good?


	2. DA HOT TOPICK STOR

A/N: Fanks to vxntiy prince 4 being a kool goff and koing wut gud real strise look like! I dontt know hwho Enoby and Tara is, but siht story is about a gurl dmane Satanina, so if u can figure that out then yur sutpid! NO FLAMZ

So after skool we go in Hermione's black flying car (like the Ran's from da movie) and fly to HOgsmeade's Hot Topic store. That is where they sell asll the cool goffik clothes. I buy all my clothes there, but I need something really cool to go to the MCR consert with Finick. Outside, we see a kid from sckool. He has brown hair and wares glasses, and a scar on his forehead. It was… Harry Potter!

"Do you have a crush on Harry?" asked hermioine.

'yuck, no way! I respond wittily. "He's such a stupid prep. "

"Yah,I think so too, STanina, cause you're always right about everything."

Thanks! OMS, he's trying o go into Hop Topic! that's only a store for foths like us." "Yeah, he can't go int here! Stop him, Satainina!"

"Don't tell me shat to do!" Because I am a strong woman who doesn't take orders from abybody, even my frineds like Hermilne. But I stop him anyway, because I don't want him to go into Hot Topic and spread his preppy germs. He might turn us into presp!

that would totally suck, Satanina!"

I tackle him to the ground sexily. "Don't kill me Satanina! I love you!" He has big green eyes, which I would think were cute on a goof, but he's a prep so he's fricking fugly. I spit on his face. "Hesy, I want to be a cool gothic like you." said Harry.

"You don't choose to be a gothic. You're a prep." I bite his neck and suck out all his blood beautifully.

"That was so cool, Satanina!"

Yah, it was pretty awesome," I say. We go shopping inside Hot Topic. I find a blck ripped miniskirt with silver skulls printd on it and a purple ribbon choker necklace. I also get black fishnets to wear underneath it (for my arms and my legs – kawaii, right?) I already have black nailpolish and lipstick nad so mcuh black eyeliner that is runs dwon my face like ive been crying cuz I have cuz Im really depetessed.

"OMS, yu look totally kawaiik!" said Hermoine. "I know tight? I responded exuberantly (no way cuz I'm goffick. I dont get to be exuberantly abut anthing)

I wnat to loko totally hot for my date with Furnick tonight. But I don't have to becaz he owuld mlove me anywday becuz finnick isn't shlalow like you stupid preps! that lilke to flam my story! I'm not stupid, okay? I just dildnt watch all of tda movies or read an of the books1 This is a kool version of HP, okay?

I put even more makeup on my face befor my date and I jput on really hgih helled and cool balck combat boots that have red laces that match the purple streaks in my hair (they're naturel :-) ). I'm only happy because I look so cuute. I leav my hair loose like the Corpse Brid (dat's one of my favrite movies! isn't it scray?). And finnick comes to the door. He lookx rezll hot in a tight GC TSHirt that shows off al his musesls. he ears a eye makeup just like me - isn't eyeliner so hat on guys?! Finick os the hottest guy at Hogwards excpt maybe Darco cuz I can see all the hatred and sadness of hell inside his eyez 3. "Wow, josistanina, you're beautiful!" he says sexily.

"Fangz" I say. he looks at me confused nbut then he get is. "Youre such a smart person, Stanina! That's why Ilove you!

And then we kised for the first time. I kind of wnated to drink his blud, but Finick was a dampire roo, so dhe didn't have any, so I had to find a stupid prep in Hosgmeade and drink their blud instead. It was delish. Finncik and I want in his awesome fdlame-covered convertivle with black leather seats with red pentagrams on the seat and wehels tot he Good Charlotte concert. Then we saw…

A/N: THANGS for reading! Wuz dis chapta bettea?


	3. Da 4th Chapat!

A/N: Stupid preps! I said STOP FLAMMING! Don't you know that One Direction is a stupid prep band! I don't lissen to them , ok? I only like the goffik musik, like GC and MCR. SO BE NICE AND STOP FLAMMING or iI won't update, okay!

DIs isn't a My Immortal parody. That's by Evenescince.

xxxxx

And dere I saw... Joel Madden! He He was wering a rippt black t shirt and riped black skinny jeans with a supre awesome studded blet. I wish that I could have a blet like dat (but not really, cuz Im a girl). He frowned at the audience becuz he was derpressed and then he strated to sing. "(I dont tink I can put sung lyrics on FF bbecuz this site is stoopic."

Finick and I where moshing togehter. It was really fun and I thinked I was falling in love with him. I loooked into his red and black eyes (his is r brown in da movie HG, but he wuz weering color contats to amke the m look different. "Finick, I tink I love you," I said.

"I have always loved you satanina," he repplied wittily.

I smile because I am happy that I have found a boy that loves me for my intellignece and strong personallity, and not just because I'm relly hot. He was soo hot, too, so it made me happy that he lovd me. Not like Edward (dat's not his real name, ok?_ who I used to tate. He was a jerk and he only liked dumb blond girls. He said I was stupid, but tits nut my falt i got an D+ on my Enlgihs papre, ok? Dat was my stopid prep Enlgish techer who dusnt lik my idees becuz shes closetmindid!

But we danced togther all evening. Suddnly, da music stopped and Joel sud dat there wus a vrey spesil guest! A man came out. He looked really cool and goffic in a black long robe with red dried paint on it that dkin of slooks lik bLOODD! I said "wow, he's cool," to Finick. and Finick looked more sad than usuel. "It's okay, he's not as cool as you!" I reasureed him reassuringly.

"Really?1" he said.

"Ya, anwya, hes super old. and I don't want an old byofirned, I sed.

Before we could sa anything more, the man started to sing. He had da most beautiful voice (except for mine, but dat is okay because everyone says a sing like an angerl from HELL.) He and Jo Madden sing ad song toether. It is called I Dont Wanna be in Love (If you dont know dat song, wou should go and youtuv it before you read da rest of da sorty. Or stop reeding, becuz you probably like prep muysic and arenkt really a goof.))

All of hte real gooffs started to sing along wtih the bnd. They eeven invited me up onto the stage to sing along! Finick and Herminoe chered forme as I finsihed the song. Joel Madden wanted to be my boyfriend and for me to come on tour with GC, but I said dat I was alredy in lov with Finnick and had to go to learn to be a betr wtihc. and vampiyre. and he sed "ok"

Den the song was over. Joel Maddens aid, and my cosuper cool guest to night was... THe Dakr Lrood Voldemorte!

AAAAGH! all tha poser preps screamed. Cuse they dare afaid of Volsecmort, but I think hes cool becuase I am in Slytherin.

voledemort looked at the stupid preps and yelled "Hello preps! if you dont al"Hello preps! Bring to voldemsorts al the teacher Proffesor Mcgonnical! The presps are super afraid and they bring mcgonnical to him. Mcgonnical was really stupid and gave me a D on a peaper i wrote for her but it was really good and smart even though I wrote it really well and it made a lot of sense and was and cool but the stupid prep gave me a D so voledemort grabbed her head because he knew i shouldnt have bgotten a stupid D and she should have given me a A++ . voldemort lifted her up becuase he was really strong and yelled "Why did you give satinina a bad grade, she sould have gotten an A++" "AVADA KEDAVERA! he yelled and a green light came from his want and she DIED. OMG! the preps yelled but all the cool goffs didnt because they knew she was a bad teacher and taht I shouldnt have have gotten an F and been grounded by may stupid preppy parents. ALl he people started running away from the halls. all of a sudden, a person came out of a door. They yelled at voldemort. It was...

Find out next chapter1


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Why do da reviowers keep taking about Ebony? I dont kno who dat is! My stroy is about Sanatina, okay? Not enoby!

.

It was... Dumbledore! He was really angry because Professor Mcgongagall is his wife, and he didn't want Volkxemort to kill her. He's a prep just like Mcgonnagall was before Volksemort killed her, and he always is nice to the Grinnindoors instead of the Slytherins like m. "Whay did you do dis?" he complained in a really whiny voice (cuz hes a prep).

"BECAUSE I AM STAN" Said the drak lord. Dumbledore got all pale nad started to stahe in his perppy pink high heels. "Why?! You were my favrite student, Voldemort! We wur going to be frinds (see? I do know the things that hapepned in the movies, even mouth I didn't see all of dem.)

"HAHAHA, NO. Voldemort luaghed realy evilly. I luaghed too, because I was happy tos ee da mean principal suffer. That's becu sadist (get it? I'm sad cuz I'm depressed and goffik) "I don't want to be BDFS with a prep lik you. You are suh a poser!" screamed Volxsemort.

Dubblydore is crying now. "But I loved her!" he cries. sadly.

Finnik laughs. "stanina, arent you glad that Principal Doopler is sad?" he said happily. "Ya, i answered, but lets listen to what volcemort is oging to say. He might have an awesome plan ton tak over Hogarts and make it a cool goffick school."

"I have a plan!" Voldemort announced evilly as da preps all cried tor Mgoogle and started to gather flowers to put on her grave. I drank all her blood while they were gone b/cuz I am a vampire and I eat blood instead of food. "I am goign to take over da Hogswart school of wizardcraft and witchdom (is that right? I dont rememba from a movie). You cool Slytherins will be da heads of the school and get As even when you dont coem to class."

I roll my eyes. I don't like goingt o class, but I dont need I don't eed Volxcemort to get all da good grades beuz I am really smart and all the cool prefoessors except for the stupd English teacher all give me A+++s because theyknow that I am really smart and have great ideas and add a lot too their classroom. All my report cards say so too. (A/N: you guys all no dat I ama good riter, right? You all lik dis story, okay?)

Bu i still think itll be really cool to hae as without goint o class. Ikiss Finnick. "All you hae to di is help me kill da prep teachers," said Voldemort. Someone screamed. I think it was one of the Griffindors, or maybe a Huflpuff (they're preps too like the griffindorks).

okay, says darko. He smiles and takes out a knife. Suddenly, someone stops him from killing the Mrs. Cardamon. It was a relly hot guy with long black hair and big red eyes (not like Finnick's, this gu had real red eyes. He had sharp teeth and was wering a loose black t-shirt with red sppaint on it that kind of lood lik

What are you doing this for? whined a blond haired girl in the audienc. I dont kno why she bothrd to come to the GC consert, becuz she was obviously a prep. She was wearing a pink shirt with a gray sweater and a skirt with flowers on it. Her shoes were pink too.

Voldemort rolld his eyes at her becuz she was too dubm to understand his plan "I'm doing this becuz its not all right for the preps to rule dthe school. He explaine. "Da gofos are a lot cooler, and they deserve to have a school that is supporting of them Thats why I will become the principle of Hogwarts school of witches and wizers. Just kill all da prep teachrs, Sltherins, and you can rule the scoll!"

dWe all clapped. Finik grabbed his tridetn (like the devil!) and went back to teh schoo lwith me. "I'm really sorry that we didn't get to have outr entrie date to ourselves, Stanina," he said sensitively. "Will u still go out iwth me again?"

I was really touched. "Of course I will, Finnik!" I said. "Dis wa ths the best date I haee ever been on!"

"Reelly?"

Ya! I gave him a kiss on da lips and we mad out in the hallway. I wanted to stay there with him forever, but ToBut I am responsible, so I evntually pulled away from him. "Come on, lets go kill da techers."

"Okay," said Finik. But when we tried to kil one do techers, the man stopped us. It was the same guy from the consert!"

"What the hll are you doing?" I asked. "We hav to kill da techers so Satkan can take ove the school!" He wuz really hot, but I wanted to kill him for Satan I ran twards him with my fangs redy to bit him, but den I relized who it was...

A/N: Yull have to wait for da next chapata! I hop you lik da story! Im so glad dere was no mor famz :-)


	5. Chapter 5

I'm just tryint to wirtie a good story stop witing flams! My story does not suck it has sympols! PS thanks to all the cool goffs like Mournnning Soung who left god rewievs! U guys make my soul less sad and depressed!

Haeery POTTER!

"OMS but u r dead" I screams because he is dead

"Finnick walks betweens us to protect me but i shove hijm out of the way because I am a strong woman and I don't need protection like stupid Joel WHO DUMPED ME STUPID PREP thought i ddi.

"I Am back SAtinina!" He is wearing black leather gloves, ripped black pants, an MCR sweetshirt, and a skuull necklace. "I Am now a vampire because you dranks my blood when I died and stan made me a vampire!

Harry Potter is back from the dead because I made him a VAMPYRE when I driank his BLOOD. (Becasue wehn vampires drink ur blood you become a vampire). I look at his hand and it has a pink strip with a red X over it. It symobolizzez how he used to be a stuupid prep like my stupid englsigh teacher but now hes a cool vampyre goff who is a VAMPYE(get it? because pink is a prep color and red is a cool goff color and he crosses off the glove with it?).

"Finnick, look at his glove! It symbolized how he is a prep but became a VAMPIRE because of me!"

"Wow satinina thatsw really smart of you to realize. I loev you so much."

Harry potter is now really hot because his not a prep any moriej. He has long sharp fangs, a black leather jacket, black camo military boots, a sheath for a knife, and a crossbow.

"Satainia! I am now ur servant forever b4 you made me a vampire so i am your servant forever!" He Say real sexily!

"Ok den go kill dat stupid prep linsay becasue i really hate her becasue she made fun of my totes kawaii dress! That i spent so long making! but not like a prep it was black and leatehr and really cool!" I tell hims wittily!

Harry potter grabs her and DECAPITERATE her! Ders blood everywhere and we drink its and its really goods like FROYO but better becasuse it is BLOOD!

Finnck looks sad because he wants to be with me forever because he loves me so much becasue I have a great personality not becasuse I am really buteiful like STOPID JOeL but I am really buteiful but its whats on da inside dat couns !

ALL of a sudden Volxemort come to us and say !"Hey! I haves a secret mission that I let satinina decide if you do it or not becasue shes a strong woman and i cansts make decisjionas for her! Ders a treasure in da bottom of the castle taht the preps TOLE! Find it so we make it alsays nightime so Vampires can rule da worls!"

"MME, Finnick, Darco, and HARRy go an the mission into the school to get da treasure because we are VAMPIRES so if it is always night we sont burn in the sunlight!

We go into the dungeon taht its dark and gloomy ans seriously scary but cool becausle it is goffic. WE go over the cool dark cold floor towards the door. It hsa pink moss on the dark wood because it symbolizes that the preps have taken over what should be tot he cool goffs (get it? because pink is a prep color and mould shouldnts be on doors?)

"Look at the mould finnick, its pink and symbolizign how the mould symbolises how the preps took over what should be the Goofs'!"

We approuch the door cleverly, and open it. It opesns with a "CROAK". We enter, and finnick and darco and harry gasps. IT is a ...


	6. Chapter 6

TOP FLAMMINJG DA STORU! If u hate da story, faveurite it so you stop hating it! IM sorry i was gone for da long time, i had to accept my NOBEL LITERATE PRIZE in da really buteiful and kawaii country of HOlland(LOVe ya holland!).

A GIANT PINK TROL !

It looks weally stupid at me but im really intelligents so everyone looks like taht to me (like u uleanblue! itsw a god story!). "Hey! This is a prepp only dundgen! GET out!" Me, darco, finnick, and harry don't move b/c im too strong for the trol to get me.

"We can do this the hard wa or the easily way!" yells da troll

"How about both! " I yell wittily and shoot him in the face with my machine gun and he DIES!

OMG Satinina how did u know to shoots him? Says me super hot BF Furrick who is way cooler than my other stupid preppy BF

"Becasuse I am really smart and pretty." I says wittily. Darco looks sad becasue he has a cursh on me too and so does harry and he looks sad also.

We continue doen the supere scary hallways that are really scry and Goffik! I hold finnick not because I is scared but because hie is scred. Der is creeeps moss and broken things and skelatons all around. Finally, we arrive at the end of the corridoor finally. I open it and der is…

A DEMENTOR(U thought I would start a new chaper:) ;) :-P)! Da dementor is really sad a depressed anf goffic, so it doeswnt fight us. In an acneint voice, it the says "SATNIAN! WHY HAVE U COME TO THE GOFF HOGWARTS DUNGEIN!?" Furrick is weally scared and hangs on to my arm but it is ok because peoples need to ezpress there emoticons. "BECAUSE I SEEK THE MAGUC THING!(A?N I forgot what i called it, okay?)" "DA TREASURE U SEEK IS NOT DA GREATESTS ONE U WULL FIND HERE IN DA Goff hogwareds DUNGEON!" Da dementor is wearing a black cloak, fishnet leggins (Its for guys 2!), a black gold headband, with a giant black diamond in the center wid a black diamond in da center that spark

les red like EVIL(Get it? Because the headband symbolizez that he is the HEAD of da dementors! ;D -with fangs, cause im a vampyre).

"OKAY!" I says wittily. Me, darco, harry, and da furrick walk out of da dungeon and into da next part of the dungeon we open the door, and it creaks like a freaking frog. INside is something really really scary! I looka nd its a place for da preps to torture GOFFS! Dey have them tied down and dey have to watch my littly stupid pony all day! "Oh no Satinina! What sohuld we do?! says harry" says harry. "YEah stina, ur so smart of couse u haves a plan!" says Darco.

"I believe in u with all of my tortured, depressed, and suepr hot soul satinina!" says furrick

"IT IS UR DESTUNY!" Says da dementor from da other room. ""THANKS guys! I says happy they all loves me. "CHARGE!"Darco and harry and furric and satinina run towards all da bad guys. 2 bronies come to fights us but dey are so stupid they forget how to live and DIE. I drinks der blood but it tasts pink so i spits it out!

AGHH! I hear a really cool goff yell. I turn around and…

A/N lol i gots u with a clifffhaner!


	7. Sorry it's a short one lol :)

SOrru der wasn't a chapta, IGots super depressed because SLYTHERINEQUESTRIAN was a total jerk and make me super depressed to i didn't ahve da motomation to make a new ding. PS MD IS A DEGREE SLYTHERINEQUESTRIAN, JUST GOOGLES IT!

satinina was turning around to look at who was yelling . Finnik died! Oh No! I jumped on da person and ripps dem dead. The prep screamed and died. I take off his cosumes and OMG it was…

VOLXEMERTS! I is sos brilliants! OMG Volxemors why dids you killed furrick!1?

"Because it twas neccacary for da sacrificial thing!?

""OMG WJAT SACRIficial thing!

I cam

t tell yhou, but dont worry its ok ites ok he will comeback from da dead! OMS this is so weird! how will i continue to do my destiny thing widout furrick, my super hot BF?! IDFK! Darco turns to me and says, "I'm so sorry for your loss."

"Harry says, Im terribly sorry for this trageby. BTW would u want to be my bf?" HHA! Im never wrong i knew he wad a stupid lazy poser all da time!

"NO you stupid lazy poser I kew you is a stupid lasy pozer all dis time!" Harry lookes ashamed and states crying . IDC because he totes deserves it! WE kills da rest of da preps and leave, then we see…

LOL got you with anoder cliffhanger!


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